> All About Nursing | Nusing Humor > You’ve Been An ER Nurse Too Long If….

You’ve Been An ER Nurse Too Long If….

…your idea of comforting a child involves using a papoose board.

…you think involuntary sterilization should be a requirement to get on welfare.

…you assume every patient with back pain is a drug-seeker until proven otherwise.

…you find yourself telling the Motrin overdose which of her medicines are really dangerous.

…you think there should be a DRG code for “Too Stupid to Live.”

…lost vibrators and lost condoms are so routine you don’t even bother to gossip about them.

…you consider it a compliment when certain patients swear at you.

…you automatically hold your breath as you prep the patient forĀ  the pelvic exam.

…you’ve told a crying drunken driver that God was trying to kill him, but God missed.

…you know what Norbest Syndrome, Porcelain Titer, Feather Count, and FOS Syndrome mean.

…you consider yourself an unwilling specialist in vague symptoms of long duration.

…you’ve ever wondered if it would be worth the malpractice trial just to watch some xx die.

…the baby you delivered your first year of practice just came in with a heroin overdose.

…you believe patients taking two or more psychiatric drugs will never have real pathology.

…you say “vegetable” and are not referring to a food group.

…you know the sign language for “shot,” “pain,” and “x-ray.”

…you assume new ER residents should know what to do, and should do it without being told.

…you subtly encourage obnoxious patients to check out AMA.

…you no longer leave the room when the portable x-rays are taken.

…putting leather restraints on a violent patient gives you heavenly satisfaction.

…you mistake the new resident for a high school volunteer.

…you not only know all the Rules of The House Of God by heart but make new nurses memorize them…

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